Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need to calm my uterus...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
