We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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