Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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