i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
