He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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