Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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