I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize