I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
