I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize