You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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