I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
