Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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