this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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