M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize