when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
