Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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