his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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