I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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