Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
