so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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