Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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