btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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