And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
