I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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