Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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