Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
