Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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