I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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