? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
