since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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