I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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