? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
