oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
