she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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