Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
