Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
