I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
