Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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