I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
