also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize