Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
