There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
