We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
