dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Nicole vs. Life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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