she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you will always have a special place in my vag
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
