these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
