is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
