Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my being single is dangerous.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
