all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
