Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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