You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
