i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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