I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
