Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
