I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize