Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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