Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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