That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
