Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
