ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
