eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
