Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize