New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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