thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
